It’s me, hi, I’m the cautionary tale, it’s me. Up until very recently, I thought I could have my cake and eat it too. Which honestly, seems logical. I have cake. I want to eat it. I win. I’m looking around though, observing my friends like I do, and I have noticed something. And it […]
For a few years now, I’ve carried a torch for one man. It lit the moment I met him, the instant that I saw that face. It grew to a steady flame, then a fire, and it burns still, tarnished but bright. I carry it quite alone, and against all reason. While my affections have […]
I don’t believe that you can have a great, loving relationship for free. And for me, it seems, the price of admission has just always been too high. Don’t expect too much from my poor old heartYou can blame the unforgiving for my scarsYou might just be the best that I can findBut I can’t […]
Today, I am very unhappy. Michigan experienced out-of-the ordinary rainfall on Friday (my area got about 4-1/2″), causing power outages and flooding, including in my basement. The basement that I’ve spent the last several months and many thousands of dollars repairing and updating in the hopes of getting to the point where I don’t ever […]
Everyone I know has someone or something more important to them. Someone for whom they will drop everything, do anything for, choose over everyone, anyone else.
I think that, big or small, fit or fat, blonde or brunette, beautiful or mysterious, alluring or boring, my chips have been cast, and this is my lot. No more wonder, no more what if, or maybe one day, or hopefully someday… it is how it will be. As it is today, will be tomorrow, […]
I’m sliding back into it. The depression is creeping back, starting in the already dark corners and slowly moving in to the middle of the frame. Like the thick overcast that sometimes rolls in and blots out a previously clear sky. All of a sudden you think, “What happened to the nice day?” How do […]
It’s 9:40 on Sunday night, and I should already be in bed, but I’m procrastinating calling it a day, because the next major event is Monday. I don’t feel like Monday is inherently bad. I love my job, and I love the company I work for. What I do Monday through Friday allows me to […]
Sometimes life turns on a dime. This is associated so often with negativity. Car accidents. Unexpected departures. There are moments though, where that pivot point heads you in a direction that you never dared hope you’d travel. So much of my being strong and independent is a facade. A front. Bullshit. I’ll hurt myself before […]
Allie Brosh has done an amazing thing. She has managed to concisely and humorously explain what it’s like to have depression. I want you to understand. I want you to get it, so I don’t always feel like such a jerk for not being riotously happy to be alive. Read this first: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html When you’re […]
Steffanie Is Still Here 