I think that, big or small, fit or fat, blonde or brunette, beautiful or mysterious, alluring or boring, my chips have been cast, and this is my lot. No more wonder, no more what if, or maybe one day, or hopefully someday… it is how it will be. As it is today, will be tomorrow, and one thousand days after. Ten thousand days. I always knew, though I had hoped otherwise. I am anathema to love, to togetherness, to a soulful binding to another. I have always been alone, so odd, and will always be. For some of us brought here, time after time after tiresome time, some trips here are solitary, and so is this one for me. Even though I give love, give until my heart is wrung dry, I do not receive it. Perhaps next time.